The inevitable has come. I have kinda decided to stop blogging. Even if it's not for good, I will not know when I will blog again. Tommorrow? Next month? Or next year?

Along the way in this few weeks, I had already been toying with the idea and I actually spoke to some people about it. People had asked me why, but I seriously cannot think of any particular reason. Must there be one? For that fact that I can't even think of a really good reason on why this blog existed in the first place other than the fact that blogging made me feel good like diary writing did in my younger days. Surely blogging has brought me alot of joys. I have gotten to know more friends through blogging and I suppose it also provided an extra dimension of me to some of the people around me.

On Friday afternoon, I just felt like putting (Here's Where The Story Ends) by The Sundays on auto-repeat.

Looking back...

2001 had it's ups and down, I am sure it would be the same for 2002.

On music
- It's a worrying sign that I have been actually listening to lesser and lesser new music. I have actually been pretty lost on stuff other than reading URB. In the past, I had listened to so much stuff that I could compile a list of Top10 albums of the year. I think I might even have a problem of coming up with Top10 songs for 2001. I was a little bit disappointed with the new Orbital album even though I had to wait three months for the US pressing. Notable mentions for the songs that left an impression - (Funny Break [One is Enough]) by Orbital, (Analyse) by The Cranberries, (Crystal) by New Order, (Imitation of Life) by REM, (Strawberry Mousse) by Anjali, (I Might be Wrong) by Radiohead etc. Let's hope that 2002 would be a more exciting year for music and that I would spend more time on them. Keep a lookout for Chemical Brother's new album.

On film
- Unlike music, I went crazy with movies in 2001. By the end of the year, I should have caught over a hundred films. Went for four film festivals (Israeli, Singapore, French, German). The most intensive one being the forty-six show binge over a three week period during the Singapore International Film Festival. Absolutely fanatic behaviour. A rundown of some of the films that touched me - Requiem for a Dream, Prince et Princesses (French animation), You Shouldn't Worry 2 (French), Taxi 2 (French), Thomas in Love (French), Wild Zero (Japanese), Spirited Away (Japanese animation), Crazy (German), Circus Palestina (Israeli), Lord of The Rings. Best film has got to be Yi Yi (A One and a Two - Taiwanese), which was the opening film for 2001's Singapore International Film Festival.

On books
- Biggest thing that I have discovered this year (rather slow, I would say) is Nick Hornby, even though he has not quite dislodged Sue Townsend (Adrian Mole diaries) in my mind yet. It's a good thing that I have been getting back to my reading habit this year. While the two juggernauts in Harry Potter and Lord of The Rings came along, I have strangely found myself to be rather indifferent towards the books. I must say that it's because of the movie High Fidelity before I started noticing Nick Hornby. There isn't really any book that makes me wanna shout about it but the book The Love Hexagon by William Sutcliffe really made me ponder alot about human relationships. I hope that I get to read All Families are Psychotic (Douglas Coupland) and Glue (Irvine Welsh) soon.

On work
- We have narrowly missed the target set for 2001. I spent a alot of time worrying about the results in the earlier half of the year when the numbers were really low until the volume really kicked in after the second quarter. One thing that I have learnt about working in an environment that is made up of 80% females is that one has to be really sensitive about people around you. Not that I am gay but I think I had to develop "female instincts" just to survive in my job. 2002 is going to be another tough year and I hope that the experience that I had gained over 2001 would help me to get by for another year.

On friends
- Made quite a bit of new friends this year (some from blogging). Gotten closer to older ones. We had our very first overseas trip together when we packed off to Hong Kong in July. I guess it helps to be a less intense person but there's really nothing much I could do about it.

On myself
- I have definitely learnt more things in 2001. I have also tried my hand at learning how to be kinder to myself. I have learnt to accept things for what they are. It's hard to accept the truths sometimes but sometimes that's just the way things are. This bit has been especially true when it comes to people. I wished that I could feel lesser and lesser for people when things don't work out but it's proving to be difficult like it always was. There has already been three instances this year when failed relationships with people (not necessarily romantic) left me in tatters. I am really hoping that there would be no more emotional roller-coaster rides with people anymore. Three in 2001 is enough to kill me. Relationship with my folks are not improving at all and I doubt it would in 2002 Perhaps it's just one of those things.

On going forward
- I would like to be more humble. Hopefully, I would also get a chance to embark on what I had wanted to do for a really long time and that's volunteer work. Originally, I had wanted to start doing it with my other half once I got attached (which means that if I ever asked someone whether she would be interested in doing volunteer work with me would naturally mean that I am interested in her). I really wonder if I would have the strength to do it myself. I have always wanted to do it with someone I really love so that we could "grow" together along the way. I would also like to be learning how to take things easily and not be so uptight about things.

On blogging
- It's been really nice. Especially when I got emails asking me about The Stolen Child, Lilac Saints CD etc. The people that I have met from blogging have been really great too. There's really no why I am taking this hiatus. I am glad that my blog had spurred a few others to start blogging too. Someone even got upset when I mentioned that I am going to stop blogging. No one should. I would still be around if anyone wants to email me and I promise I would write back. I just really wanna spend more time getting my life straightened out. Maybe I would retract my position and start blogging again tommorrow. I really don't know. If anyone sends me their email address, I would email to tell them what is my new blog URL if I ever decide to blog again. Rustic appeal would be history after this blog.

New Year's eve was a relatively quiet affair. Just chilling out at a friends place playing cards. The most memorable New Year's eve I had was the Millenium crossover. I had packed the Top10 CDs for the year 1999 and started playing them back to back with the last track ending exactly at 12.00 midnight. All I had to do is to work out the time for all the CDs and it turned out that I had to start playing the first CD at 2.00pm. By 12.00 midnight, I would be at Bedok Jetty watching all the ships out at sea shooting their distress flares up into the sky and sounding their horns while listening to (It's The End of The World as We Know It and I Feel Fine). I just wanted to be alone by myself.

"It's that little souvenir of a terrible year which makes my eyes feel sore..."
"Oh the devil in me said, go down to the shed, I know where I belong"
"But the only thing I ever really wanted to say was wrong, was wrong, was wrong"
"It's that little souvenir of a colorful year which makes me smile inside"
"So I cynically, cynically say, the world is that way, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise..."

How apt. Thank you and goodbye.