I think I am a laggard.

Maybe the whole world has watched Parry Hotter except me (laugh) already. I am still having a hangover after the German Film Festival I guess. Perhaps the good news is that they would be screening Crazy (it's rated RA by the way) commercially. Go watch it! I really don't mind watching it again. Look out for the songs from the show guys.

Advertistment -
Anyone want to buy a brand new (still shrinkwrapped) Palm M125 for $350 (retails for $449)? Email me if you are interested.

I am getting hooked on all the lo-fi music. Suddenly all my colleagues would have to put up with sounds from The Flaming Lips (The Soft Bulletin).

"They are just humans, with wives and children" - Racing For The Prize. (rolls eyes upwards and exposes the whites)

I had a really enjoyable evening getting know some other people who also blog. I do admit that it was kinda awkward for me especially when I had introduce myself as "the guy behind rusticappeal" (which I felt was very female-sounding). Maybe I should shed some light to how "rustic appeal" came about.

I caught this Japanse comedy drama (not those popular "dubbed in Chinese" types) a long time ago and one of the girls inside the show was asked to describe her boyfriend and she used the word "kinda rustic". Somehow that scene and the word "rustic" has stuck in my mind.

For some reason or other, I have a very strange fascination with old housing estates and once I have used the words "rustic appeal" to describe to someone the charm these housing estates have on me. Hence the words "rustic appeal" came to me. While I had to think of a something when I first got to Blogger that first words "rustic appeal" came to me and dang! - here it is.

Thanks to all of you for a nice evening even though I suck majorly at pool (from having played last than ten times in the past three years). The bigger shock was for me to find out that an old friend of mine actually owns the joint that we went to. Had a great time catching up bits with him. Bumped into another old friend in the joint as well and another afterwards when we were having drinks. Small world?

Usual routine of catching Slam Dunk on Saturday afternoon. One of my old classmates is getting married today and I would have to be at the wedding dinner tonight. Blessings to her *tiny-eyed wide grin*. It would definitely be a ball of time catching up with the rest of my old classmates. Seems like every wedding dinner is a gathering for all of us. It really doesn't seem like such a long time ago when all of us were teenagers in school. How time really flies.

Maybe I would have to go back to work tommorrow.

I went shopping at Golden Mile Food Centre (featured in some magazine that I was reading) during lunchtime on Wednesday. They have got nice and cheap T-shirts there. Maybe it's an alternative Far East Plaza except that there's lesser shops and the stuff is less exorbitant. One plus point is that you can enjoy the famous "Ah Balling" tang1 yuan2 after your shopping.

There was this cool shop that even sold VCDs of breakdance battles. I actually spent more time talking to this cool owner about bboying, turntablism, grafitti (also known as tagging) etc. than actual shopping. I would have loved to buy something from his shop because he's such a nice fella but he didn't have the size for that Prodigy shirt that I wanted. I guess I really didn't look abit like I knew anything about bboy culture because I look really dumb in my workwear when I first spoke to him.

I usually do my Chinese New Year shopping right after Christmas (because there are always Post Christmas Sales). I hope I can get a pair of Levis Engineered jeans, some nice short sleeve shirts (so that I can wear to work on Fridays). I have already got three new pairs of shoes that I haven't worn but I have decided on my Air Jordan 1 for Chinese New Year. Thinking far ahead huh?

Actually, I am really not a shopping person but I have a weakness for shoes. I almost bought five pairs of shoes when I was in Hong Kong. I swore Mummy would have killed me if I did that.

There was a really good game of basketball on Wednesday night. The areas of where I sustained serious injuries before were aching like hell so I suppose I might not be able to play as much bball as I would have wanted to. The areas are my spine (I had a prolapsed disc from playing bball) and my ankle (it's badly damaged really). I am supposed to stay off all contact sports actually.

Excellent film on FilmArt when I got home. Common Wealth. Looks like the spanish films were quite good even though I missed the last one because I went for the German Film Festival last Wednesday.

New thematic CD display is up. It's the combination of Deep Concentration series (from the very excellent OM Records stable) and Future Primitive Sessions (from the also very excellent Future Primitive collective). Just too bad that all the folks in the room gotta put up to b-boy, turntablist music from now onwards.

Actually, as impossible as it may seem, I am actually a b-boy wannabe who never had the guts to try it out.

If there's ever going to be an "important" post, this is it. Someone's truth and my take on Love.

I had just met up with a friend for lunch on Friday for me to present me with "the truth" about her painful breakup. My friend has been attached to her boyfriend for quite a while but she has always had this other close friend of hers that she hangs out with alot. Until one day both my friend and her friend realised that they are actually in love with each other after some many years. What does that leave her? The decision to have to choose between her boyfriend and the guy that she loves.

And she chose. She chose the leave her current boyfriend to be with her close friend (and I gave her my blessings). It's definitely painful for her and her boyfriend. She explained it's so painful because her boyfriend has been really nice to her all these years. After she finished her story I told her what I felt and my thoughts about what she just went through.

I expressed my sympathy for her boyfriend that she has chosen to forsake but yet I told her that love is meant to be unfair. It's meant to be selfish. Perhaps in our life, we can only love one person the most and that in itself is selfish. I told her that even a young girl like Anne Frank can coin "All is fair in love and war". She told me that she would never want to be put in such a predicament where she has to make such a painful decision (truth of love vs. moral conscience) again. I added my thoughts and these were my words "If you have chosen to stay with your boyfriend, it would have been a morally correct thing to do but that would have been a lie to yourself". The worst part is that both herself, her friend and her boyfriend all know each other (they were from the same JC). I cannot imagine the pain when the pair of them bums into one another.

Another heart goes up in flames. *Sigh*

A few months ago, I finished a book called The Love Hexagon (William Sutcliffe, who also wrote interesting works like New Boy and Are You Experienced?) and it's a story about complicated relationships revolving around six people. It showcases the ambivalence of human relationships - the weight of it all and the fragility of it. Like how people can break up "so easily" and yet "the intensity of the pain" it is. Like how easy and yet so difficult it is. So what is love? I am afraid I have no answers.

I am afraid I am not the best person that I would have wanted to be for that person I wanted to be the best for. I have lost innocence that I cannot regain. The fruits are bare in my secret garden. There's the constant wall of cynicism and bitterness that surrounds me. I would have wanted to give everything that I could. I would have wanted to do volunteer work with my loved one and "grow" together with her. I am afraid that now I have reached the point where I feel that everything between human beings are so fragile and that I can't live past a painful breakup (and to my friend's old boyfriend, I hope he finds the strength to pick up the pieces and move forward). There is really no innocence left for the next person and I would like to think that my innocence would have been the most precious thing that I could have afforded to give to her.

I have asked someone once on how this person feels about nothing being able to fall in love again. The answer was "Nothing, just regret". For as long as I live, I might never live to forget this answer that struck me so hard. Can I pray that I never live to feel this regret? Perhaps I am already there?

How do I tell someone that it hurts? How do you tell that person to stop hurting you? How do you tell that person that it's eating up every bit of you? How do you tell the person to set you free? How do you... ...

Issit that the flipside of the love coin has to be pain and suffering? Or even hatred? Someday will we know?

"Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah, someday we will go dancing on the moon"
"Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you"

There's just going to be more talk about German movies since I am doing nothing but watching German shows. Finished the last three shows. Alaska.de, Moonlight Tariff and Zoom (It's always about getting closer).

Alaska.de is another disturbing show about German youth. Exquisite, stunning cinematography and excellent soundtrack to the movie. I wonder if there is a actual soundtrack being released.

Moonlight Tariff was a riot. Very entertaining show about this neurotic girl named Cora, who went head over heels over some guy. An interesting take on adults, relationships and love. Nice soundtrack.

There is nothing so spectular about the "closing" show - Zoom (It's always about getting closer). Music from the film really fits the whole mood. The German Film Festival comes to a close today and the best show is easily Crazy.

As it's 25th November going 26th, it beings back memories of the same day a year ago.

I had the attended the best event of 2000 that day - Smith and Mighty live. I bummed into this girl whom I was absolutely crazy with for three and a half years from the age of 18 to 21. It happened that she is now 26 (like me), happily married to her first boyfriend and she's just living a few blocks away from me. She was together with her hubby and on her way home on a Saturday night while I was getting ready for a great party.

Last I heard, she was pregnant (should have given birth by now I suppose). But that night, the chance meeting with her stirred so much feelings/thoughts inside me. Deep down inside I felt really happy for her - loving husband, stable job, nice re-sale flat (4 room, upgraded) but on the other side I looked back at myself. What have I got? Nothing. No serious girlfriend, just starting out in my new job and absolutely no savings (don't even talk about a flat). All I have got is a night of good music to look forward to. I remember that I was smiling over the whole train journey. I really felt genuine happiness for her.

Smith and Mighty was a blast. It was actually beginning held in a masked up Hard Rock Cafe (we were actually being led in from the carpark and through their back entrance into the place). Those guys were nice enough to autograph all the CDs that I had with me. My friend even took a picture of them. I still have the club flyer now that says that the event will last until 5.00am in the morning but for some reason the party ended at about 3.30am.

Zoukout was last night. I swore I would never have gone to another Zoukout event after I attended the one last year. I actually fell asleep next to the DJ tent last year! Although the Guerilla guys were there last year, the support in the tent was utterly miserable. I waited for Richie Hawtin (another face of him would be Plastikman) but he wasn't really playing the stuff that I wanted (from the excellent album Decks, Efx and 909). This year's Zoukout hasn't even got a drum 'n' bass tent anymore! I suppose I would only be going for Zoukout if they ever had a drum 'n' bass tent and if they had Goldie, LTJ Bukem, Dieselboy or DJ Hype coming in to play in it, but I seriously wouldn't think they ever would.

Think about it. I haven't gone to any good events this year (unlike last year when they had stuff like Altivo and Mickey Finn). Maybe I will try to catch Kosheen when they come to town for the New Year's Eve gig at Sentosa.

Caught another two more films over the last two days. Interestingly, both films are about growing up and both films use the same lo-fi sounding music/songs which made my heart feel so wrenched.

Forget America is about the story of three teenagers. A bizarre love triangle while three of them has to slowly and painfully come in terms with society and the bleakness of their future despite being so positive about their own dreams at the start of the film (becoming a professional photographer in Berlin, running a successful American car-dealership, and succeeding as a credible actress). When they played Soul Coughing's (True Dreams of Wichita) at the last scene of the show it really brought the tears out again. The whole show had very lo-fi music while it progressed.

Crazy was a much more entertaining show (based on a very popular book in Germany) about Benni, who is has a paralysed left arm and leg; being sent to a very nice boarding school (a castle!) and the friends (and the girls) around him. Familiar themes about growing up - falling in love, insecurities, being intimidated of the future, discovering sexuality etc. The soundtrack of the show is simply awesome and the first thing I did when I got home was to look for the tracklisting of the soundtrack to this song. Fortunately, I found it and I downloaded most of the tracks that I could find. More lo-fi sounding music. I could feel the warm tears once again when Benni's friends did a acappella version of some song about Red Rose Rain for him.

- (Yesterday, Tomorrow and Today) Vic Chestnutt - lovely violins and guitar and a clear voice
- (Teenage Spaceship) Smog - lovely vocals and lyrics, decidedly slow but painfully aching
- (Sensation) Slut - The band name is a hoax really
- (Welcome) Slut
- (Off the rails) The Notwist
- (Serpentine) Deus - really touching song with slow acoustics

I have been putting (True Dreams of Wichita) on repeat. Maybe it's time I relive my fascination with lo-fi and dig out my Kids soundtrack (with the fabulous lo-fi mastery of Folk Implosion, Sebadoh and Daniel Johnston). I still have that article from BigO a few years back about lo-fi musicians.

I m going to read it tonight and download tons of lo-fi music while I drown myself in auto-repeat of (True Dreams of Wichita) and (Teenage Spaceship).

Watched The Tunnel last night. Truly remarkable film. I cannot find words to describe it. A showcase of human spirit - spirit of wanting to find a way to help their loved ones escape from East Berlin. The pain of seeing your loved one being separated from you by barbed wires (and later a wall). The madness - of the difference in ideologies. The drama - arising from the possibilities of them being hunted down by East German intelligence and the actual heart-stopping escape.

Another embarassing moment for me when I teared right the end of the show and I am sure that guy on my right was looking at me and baffled.

Forget America is the show I am going for tonight.

I have read about someone writing about the song (Stay - Faraway, So Close!). As I have previously stated, I do own six hundred CDs and the single of (Stay - Faraway, So Close!) happens to be the very first CD I bought on New Years' Day in 1994. It's a CD in a red digipack with a very interesting cover. I even have a tee that's printed with the same image of that cover but the tee is all faded now from wear and tear. It's interesting to see the link because the song is related to a film that revolves around Berlin too.

A friend is supposed to have lunch with me tommorrow. Just found out from her that she has gone through some painful breakup. She said she would tell me the truth over lunch tommorrow.

But I am sure the truth doesn't change anything.

German Film Festival is in town. This brings me to the fourth film festival for the year. I have attended the Israeli (Feb), Singapore (April), French (Oct) ones too.

I am going to watch -

- The Tunnel (opening film)
The Tunnel tells the true story of Hasso Herschel, a swimming champion from the German Democratic Republic, who, having escaped to the West through Berlin’s sewers, spent nine months digging a tunnel under the Berlin Wall to free his sister. Directed by Richter, one of Germany’s most prominent young directors, The Tunnel is a gripping and assured adventure, made all the more astonishing by the fact that it actually happened.

- Forget America
Two boys and a girl. Coming of age in eastern Germany: flights of fancy, dreams of grandeur, shattered illusions. A defeated region that has completely lost heart and three young people on the verge of discovering theirs. A time full of shattered hopes and broken dreams, full of furious passion and rage - and, yes indeed, quite simply the best time of their lives.

- Crazy
Sixteen-year-old Benni is sent to his fifth boarding school. His parents are praying that he will finally overcome his math deficiency and graduate. But for Benni, life isn’t just about math ... it’s about dealing with his typical teenage insecurities, which are compounded by the fact that he is partially handicapped. Although Benni doesn’t end up learning much about math, he learns a whole lot about life. Based on the best-selling novel by Benjamin Leber, Crazy is about growing up, deciding for yourself and believing that the future will be just fine.

- alaska.de
A gripping social drama about the sixteen-year-old Sabine who is sent to live with her father in a suburb of East Berlin. Feeling completely alone, she befriends Eddie and Micha. A party at Micha’s house turns into a nightmare when Sabine coincidentally becomes the witness of a murder. Terrified of what they’ve done, the boys threaten Sabine to keep silent. When Micha decides to take matters into his own hands, things only get worse ... Esther Gronenborn is undoubtedly a big discovery for German cinema. She is the first German film director to use the commercial aesthetic of today's youth in order to tell the teenagers a story about their world.

- Moonlight Tariff
Saturday evening: Cora Hübsch recently slept with Daniel for the first time and is now impatiently waiting for him to call her. That is the beginning of this story about love, sex and everyday vanities and forms the basis for telling the story of the encounter between Cora and Daniel in interlinked flashbacks and entertaining episodes. But, it also takes a couple of ironic pot-shots at the complex and sometimes complicated mechanisms of the relationships between women and men. Making use of a variety of narrative stylistic devices, the story constantly drifts off into anecdotes told in loving, detailed fashion about the frequently comical diversions and confusion inevitably accompanying two people finding their way to one another. The main drift of the story is Cora waiting at the telephone in vain. Cora experiences an emotional roller-coaster ride that finally brings her to the insight that he is not going to call. Cora has coincidence to thank for the fact that she ends up in the arms of her lover this evening as well as the insight that all of the well-meaning tips, bits of advice and wisdom only stood in the way of her finding the man of her dreams.

- Zoom - It's always about getting closer
Wanda works as a call girl. She doesn’t know it, but her neighbour, Waller, has his eye on her. She also doesn’t know that Waller is blackmailing her clients. One day Wanda and Waller meet in the house lobby and he tries to find out why she is working as a call girl. When he discovers her fate, he sees himself as her guardian angel, and with a new round of blackmailing, promises her a new, better life.

Celluloid calms me down. I remember how crazy it was when I clocked a total of 46 shows in during the Singapore International Film Festival. In my life, there aren't many things other than books, music and film that calms me down. I love film.

It was my turn to buy dinner last night and I bought my guest to Tuscany (Pan Pacific Hotel) for pasta buffet. Very nice place with nice ambience. You can have different type of pastas (which all sounded totally alien to me) and mix it with ten types of sauces (one sauce was called Aurora!) and the chefs will whip it up for you. Yum! We broke the rules last night as we ended up talking about business opportunities half the time.

Going out to buy the German Film Festival tickets now.

My blogs would get less frequent because I really don't want to write about depressing stuff.

Read about The Oddfellows on the Life section on Friday. I remember hearing their stuff when I was alot younger. Stuff like (So happy), (Unity Song) etc. Seems like they are going to perform at the Library at Ngee Ann City. The Oddfellows are way before the local bands that we have now. One can tell of the strong influence from The Replacements as they named their record label Tim Records (Tim is the title of a Replacements album). I think I would go and grab a copy of their album that they just put out with live outtakes and a collection of their older stuff.

There was a local compliation album out called Left Of The Dial (which incidentally, is also a title of a Replacements song) which boosts the works of local artists like Sideshow Judy, Lilac Saints, Livonia etc. I wouldn't dare to claim to be a supporter of local music but I did listen to a couple of them and I do own some local albums. Today, I still have the limited edition Lilac Saints album with the beautiful handmade sleeves. Whatever happened to the band AWOL (Artists WithOut Licence)?

There are moments that I had with local music. This song (Deeper) from Chris Ho (or X'ho). Hearing Humpback Oak live (especially the rendition of If I Am Weak). Soundtracks of 12 Storeys (a very good showcase of local music and a painfully haunting piano soundtrack from Kevin Matthews - Kevin is also one of the genius behind the group Popland) and Teenage Textbook etc. Maybe it's time I dug them out for a listen.

Who says local music isn't good?

My good friends are definitely feeling rich. One of them just bought a new PS2 and his brother just bought a new DVD player. Stayed over at their place on Saturday night for them to show off their new wares to me. But all I wanted was just good sleep.

Sunday night was breezy. I really didn't know where I wanted to go but I just wanted to get out of the house. Then I remembered the same breezy night a few years ago at Bedok Jetty when I wanted to throw my bicycle into the sea and jump right after it.

So I found myself back there again once again. It's the same rustling sound of the waves, the lights from the ships at out in the sea, light cool breeze that blows and watching the planes fly in with their gradual descent. I haven't eaten a morsel for the whole day by the time I got home at 9.00pm.

If I had to die it's got to be a night like this.

I had read from someone else's blog that one of the favoured artists is Yang Nai Wen.

Hence the urge to play her in the office. I have this concert CD that I bought that has artists like Yang Nai Wen, Chen Qi Zhen, Zhang Zhen Yue, Shunza etc. They are all artists under the Magic Stone and they are distributed by Rock Records. Much earlier, I bought that CD because of Chen Qi Zhen. The title of the CD is called Monster Live and it's actually a recording of the campus tours that they did in Taiwan. They were supposed to tour Singapore and Malaysia too but somehow that didn't materialise.

The songs she did seem to tie into the mood I am in now. My copy of album is signed by Shunza when she was in town two years back.

The first three tracks of the CD are done by Yang Nai Wen and two of them are in English. There was once when I was on my way to teach tuition and I just teared out when I heard Chen Qi Zhen's rendition of (Rang4 Wo3 Xiang3 Yi4 Xiang3 - translates to "Let me think for a while").

"Man4 Bu4 Zai4 Huang1 Yuan2,"
"Wo3 Xiang3 Zhao3 Yi4 Ke1,"
"Ching1 Sheng1 De4 Shu4,"
"You3 Yang2 Guang1,"
"You3 Liu2 Shui3,"
"Hai2 You3 Wei2 Feng1 Cui1"

Translates to - Slow walk in the wasteland. I want to find a tree by me, with sunshine, with flowing water and a light breeze that blows.

I am very sure she meant peace of mind and the lyrics are metaphoric. And I don't just listen to English songs and I am not anglophilic.

One new thing I learnt two days ago was how to use the pivot table function in Excel. Had to fiddle half a day before I could understand how it really works. I think any average Excel user would probably only know 1% of all the available functions on Excel. Maybe I have clocked 2% after learning about pivot tables.

Been listening to (Not So Manic Now) by Dubstar in my own bid to calm myself down. Doesn't seem to be working.

"When this younger man twenty-five, advantageously took away her pride"

In a bizzare way, this is a telling description of what I am going through except that the roles are reversed.

"I am not so manic now..." I wished.

I read many years ago about this song and actually the song is supposed to tell the story about a girl who was raped by a stranger in her own flat.

Spent the rest of Deepavali sleeping and I caught Princess Mononoke (courtesy of Morpheus again) in the evening. Was pretty impressed. Read in the credits that Neil Gaiman was actually the one who did the adaptation. Can't wait to catch Spirited Away, another anime film done by the same director who did Princess Mononoke.

Took half day leave today because I just wanted to get out of the office. First time that I participated in an overseas conference call with people calling in from many locations. Had to be in the office by 8.30am because it's 5.30pm for our American colleagues. I had wanted to go shopping but I realised much later that I am really not in the mood.

I am in the mood for nothing really. Nothing.

I called my nice colleague last night she could tell that I am going the to pits. So she was kind enough to invite me over to her place tonight to give me a chance to taste her cold pasta. How sweet.

For the first time in my life I tried my hand at buying red wine (I didn't want to go empty-handed). I just grabbed the bottle that Cold Storage stocked the most (thinking that Cold Storage would only stock many of these wines only if they were popular in the first place). The fact that I am a zero-alcohol person doesn't really help me much.

I guess she really wanted to hear me out because she was concerned. I was really touched by her gesture of cooking dinner and asking me over to her pad. It was nice to just chill out at her cosy place and talk over Chinese tea. Her effervescence, her optimism, her passion and love for life really made me feel alot better.

Thank you. For a warm evening and your kind hospitality.

I decided that I would stop crying from today onwards. No more sad songs. I have already shelved those CDs back to where they belong.

For a while I was thinking why I even bother with this blog because of all the emotional baggage that keeps building up. Until some kind people came to me with emails showering concern. Instantly it brought back memories of how I shredded all (but one) my diaries in a fit of anger a few years ago. I don't know until now if that feeling that swarmed over me immediately after that was regret. On that very day that I shredded my diaries I also did the most unthinkable, blasphemous thing - I tore apart the buddhist beads that I wore on my wrist.

I was this close to deleting my blog for good. Until you good people emailed me. I am really touched, what more can I say... ...

The feeling that I often get after coming out of depression is anger and perhaps this is the time when I bring out the "angry" or "heavy" music I have. Time to bring on (Anger - Rare Force 2 Meg Mix) by Ryuichi Sakamoto.

So I am not dead yet. But my eyes are swollen from too much crying.

Tonight is the night when no distance is too far for my legs. I just wanted to walk and the only place that I wanted to go was to where my Granny used to live until a few years back. So it was a two hour walk from Bugis (I went back to the office to get work done) to Macpherson Estate (Circuit Road). Think the distance of five MRT stops.

As I walked I sang all the songs that I knew that could make the tears swell. When I finally reached the vicinity of my Granny's old place, I really couldn't hold back the tears anymore. But it felt safe for me to cry, there was this homeliness feeling that wrapped around me and I felt like my eyes could secrete all the saltwater that it wants and there would be nothing that would inhibit me from doing so.

I never understood the feelings I have for all these old housing estates.

It's tonight when I could sing the saddest songs and let the storm run me out. Maybe someday I would know why Sylvia Plath killed herself for Ted Hughes.

Someday.

This morning Mum, Dad, my aunt and Granny boarded a plane to China to visit our ancestral home. This is the first time that my Mum has been out of Singapore other than Malaysia (also her first time on an airplane). I visited mine as well. Blk 67, Circuit Road.

Bringing more old CDs out.

Chronic depression.

Blogging will take a hiatus. I am going to drag out all my old Smiths, Radioheads, R.E.Ms and U2s out. Blogging might (not definite) continue if I am not dead by Sunday.

*Yawn*

I have been feeling lethargic recently. I admit that I haven't been at my top gear for work. Was really glad that I could finish at least 80% of what's been laid down by my boss. Working on the rest of the 20% now.

Caught The Girl Of Your Dreams on FilmArt last night. Penelope Cruz has so much charm. Looks like it's going to be Spanish Films for the month of November?

The Mee Rebus did so much harm to my gut this morning that I have no more appetite for anything else during lunch. I did manage to grab a bun and some Bobochacha during lunch though. Somehow I was reminded of Granny. Granny used to cook the most amazing things (like most other grannys do I suppose) and she used to do Bobochacha too. What amazed me the most was her ability to "improvise". Granny came from China but she learnt how to cook Mee Rebus, Mee Siam, Lontong, make curry puffs (very yummy) etc. in her own style and everything turns out good for my taste. My aunt (Granny is staying with my uncle and he just got married a few years back) doesn't even allow Granny to whip out goodies because she is too much of a cleanliness freak. It's such a pity. And it also seems like Granny's culinary skills will just be lost once and for all.

I will give up many things just to be able to taste Granny's curry puffs again.

Had pasta for lunch and it was absolutely yummy (Palette Cafe - Keypoint). Was so sleeply right after lunch because it was so filling.

I just felt like I had to go out and grab a new book to read yesterday and thus I spent my lunch at Stamford Road's National Library. The two books that I really wanted to lay my hands on were All Families Are Psychotic by Douglas Coupland and Glue by Irvine Welsh. They were not available so I have to settle for what I would label as "Memoir of an Arsenal Fan", yes you would have guessed it - it's Fever Pitch.

There is this familiarity because I have just finished watching High Fidelity over the weekend. It's interesting to observe how Nick Hornby blends things that most people are passionate about into his stories about himself (music, records with High Fidelity; footie with Fever Pitch).

Due to the influence of High Fidelity, I suddenly find myself humming to some of the older songs that I use to listen to a long time ago.

i) Counting Blue Cars - Dishwalla
ii) I Wanna Be Adored - The Stone Roses
iii) When All I Want Is You - U2
iv) Fade Into You - Mazzy Star
v) Sometimes Always - The Jesus And Mary Chain w/Hope Sandoval (who sings for Mazzy Star)
vi) If God Would Send His Angels - U2 (been looking very hard for the movie City Of Angels from Morpheus)

There is this foreign yet familiar feeling (ambivalent) because most of the music that I have bought or listened to are mostly electronic stuff without vocals. Maybe it's time that I bring out some of the older stuff that I own for a listen.

Had a talk in the middle of the night with my younger brother. We are very different (he doesn't listen to english music, doesn't read english books) but we are quite close. Even though we have very differing interests in life, we still manage to respect what each other for what we are. We were kinda updating each other on what each of us are going through and it was just kinda nice to be able to just catch up with each other (he just came home from Reservist Training last week).

I never had the chance to tell him about my blog but I gave him the URL that night and I hope he can learn more about me because we seldom get to talk to each other very much as both of us seldom see each other.

Hey boy, if you are reading this now. Does it feel good to be featured in your big brother's blog? *grin*

Decided to go shopping on Saturday after hearing that my buddy has already gone on a mean streak after he cashed in his NSS shares.

I finally found the Decepticon t-shirt after waiting for 2 months. I can't never forget the "hunt" that I went on just to land myself the Autobot t-shirt when I was in Hong Kong (Decepticons and Autobots belong to an old cartoon called Transformers and there used to be alot of Transformers toys in the past as well).

When I was shopping in Hong Kong, I spotted someone wearing the Autobot t-shirt and I told myself that I must have that. On one occasion, me and my buddy got lost and most of the Hong Kong fellas just ignored us except for this young girl who was distributing flyers that was kind enough to direct us to the place that we wanted to go. She had a simple request for us to visit the toy shop that was on the top of the building. We told her that we would come back after we have done our shopping (which was a lie because at that point we never intended to come back). However, we were kinda guilty and we made our way back to that toy shop. To my surprise, someone working in the toy shop was wearing a different Transformers t-shirt and I asked him where I could buy the Autobot t-shirt that I saw. He wrote the address down for me and told me that the shopping centre is somewhere in Mongkok.

My buddy was getting pissed at me always getting him to ask strangers for directions in Cantonese (I can't speak it) and thus I decided to find out where that place was on my own. I had to gather more clues from every small clue I have. The only clue that I had was that that shopping centre sold alot of porn. After the first hour, I found out where the shopping centre was.

The shopping centre was a maze and I ended up having to walk the whole damn place to look for the shop. It was only after the third visit and asking around like mad (imagine me trying to ask about an Autobot T-shirt not knowing Cantonese) that I found the shop. I had no choice but to buy the last T-shirt that's an XL size one. I actually went shopping alone just to look for this stupid shirt while my friends went to Ocean Park. That night we were supposed to board the plane back home.

Best part was when I found out three months later that some shop in Singapore actually sold that same shirt that I bought at a lower price. So much for the hunt. *Humphz*

Maybe that says something about me. I just love going on wild goose searches, to find clue after clue and try to solve some mystery. Even when the effort is sometimes really futile (like this classic case of looking for the Autobot t-shirt).

I finally completed living out one of my teenage dreams today. It's the dream of owning all the Nike Air Jordan sneakers that I want.

When I was between the ages of 14 to 17 was when Nike released the nicest basketball sneakers of all time and that's the Air Jordan series. There was no way that I could have afforded those sneakers at that age and now Nike gave me a chance to live out the dream of me owning the four pairs of basketball sneakers that I wanted to own so badly when I was a teenager, by making "replicas".

I finally completed the collection today when I shelled out $150 for a pair of Blue/Black Air Jordan 1 sneakers. Over the past two years, I have managed to track down and buy Air Jordan 3,4,5 for myself. It's complete now. But because mummy complains that I have too many shoes, I actually have to store two of my unworn Air Jordan sneakers with my buddy. I will bring them home when Chinese New Year is around the corner so that Mummy can't complain about me buying shoes again.

Sunday was the last weekend in the World Rythmn Series and I caught The Groove with two of my other colleagues. Their music had the soul and vibe too and three of us really enjoyed ourselves (plus this time round they had wine, tuna sandwiches, chips etc compared to two Sundays ago where we could only watch and gape at other people enjoying themselves). I even took a slow walk around the concert area and it felt so good. Even better was when I laid on the grass and look up at the clear blue sky, letting my thoughts wonder while I watched the birds soaring high in the sky.

Two ladies got slightly drunk and started making a din (I am a zero-alcohol person and thus I didn't drink a single drop). So embarrassing. Many thanks to The Groove for an afternoon of wonderful and lively music.

And I am going to miss these concerts like how I will miss the Bontanical Gardens

Was watching High Fidelity (compliments of Morpheus) until 3.00am in the morning. The best thing about watching movies on the computer is the fact that you can pause the movie, go to sleep and catch the unfinished part the next morning.

Today is one of those rare Saturday mornings when I couldn't sleep after waking up at 5.30am. I tried to make myself sleep more but by 8.30am my body just couldn't fall asleep anymore. I caught the rest of High Fidelity.

I was really impressed with the show because of how it showcased many different types of music and not just any particular genre. I heard Goldie, Chemical Brothers, The Beta Band, Peter Frampton, Elton John, Belle & Sebastian, Liz Phair, Edith Frost, Bruce Springsteen (even had a cameo in the show), Barry White (it's a show about love, whaddaya expect?), Velvet Underground, Elvis Costello, Al Green, Stiff Little Fingers, Vaseline (the song on the show was covered by Nirvana on their live album - Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam), Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin, Eric B & Rakim (two songs from the ol skool. Yum), Lou Reed, De La Soul, The Kinks, The Roots, Stereolab, Marvin Gaye, High Llamas and many many more on the show.

The film is based on a book by Nick Hornby and I really love the record shop setting that the story is based on. I can't wait to visit a record shop if I manage to visit UK or US. The feeling of being surrounded by all that wax (vinyl)! I can't even afford a turntable now. *Sigh*

I have been going through my CD database (I have an Excel file containing a listing of CDs that I own) and I was absolutely disgusted with myself. I should be banning myself from buying anymore CDs because there are still about 50+ CDs that I have not opened/listened to. This is a sin. I remember those days in school when I could probably only afford five CDs in one whole year and I had to be really sure that the CD was worth my allowance before buying it. After which you would have to live with listening to just twenty CDs for the whole year. In the age of the internet when I could sample any album before buying any CD, I actually bought more mediocre CDs than before and it's such a waste when you listen to one CD you bought and you even forget about owning it at all until mummy tells me to pack my room again.

I am coming up with a list of unlistened CDs and a list of unwanted CDs to put up for sale. Part of the reason why I own 600 CDs now is because I used to get alot of CDs free.

This is a sin and I am going to start to atone for them by listening only to those CDs that aren't opened yet (some of which I have bought two years ago).

It was a double embarrassment on public transport yesterday. Tears swelled up my eyes when I was on the MRT to work and when I was on a bus home. Thanks to this book - The Rice Room, written by Ben Fong Torres.

Attention to Dream Catcher has been absconded to The Rice Room. It's a story about growing up as a Chinese in America and all the cultural and social conflicts. He struggled through his life and one of his high points was becoming the an editor for Rolling Stone magazine and a pioneer rock 'n' roll radio DJ. He had a special Torres name behind because his dad came to US from China through Philippines on a forged certificate and the whole family had to adopt the Torres name. And now the attention can go back to Dream Catcher.

Boss was kinda touched with our "surprise" lunch treat for him. Was quite full after the food and there was another little tea party for all the other bosses in the enclosed area that I worked in. They remarked that it was the first time that anybody celebrated any "Boss day" with them and so they were visibly happy.

Was listening to Meat Beat Manifesto (actually the band's name is reference to masturbation) in the office. Wonderful stuff from the album Original Fire. They were one pioneer bands before the whole electronica wave caught on. Even Liam Howlett from Prodigy thinks that Meat Beat Manifesto's Radio Babylon is one of the best rave anthems ever (hence he dropped the tune in his own DJ mix - The Dirtchamber Sessions Vol. 1). Seems like Jack Dangers has been cooking some wicked mixes and spins on his own (like the one he did on Shadow Records).

The weekend is here.

It's such a pity that there was this drizzle that marred the evening yesterday. There was no real bball happening but I felt really good when I ended up teaching some kid how to shoot hoops. I hope that would have helped me to clock the karma I need for the day.

Apparently it wasn't enough good karma because the bus didn't stop for me when I flagged it and thus I wasted half an hour just waiting for public transport.

I think my thematic CD display has attracted same attention in the office. Some of my colleagues that have walked past stopped to ask me about the music (which I have been more than glad to share). After a closer examination, I realised that actually all the CDs that I bought to the office are in digipacks (i.e paper type of CD housing, which is different from the more conventional plastic jewel case type). I remember reading somewhere in someone's blog about his love affair with digipacks. I am not a really great fan of digipacks because you have to be extra careful with them. If you happen to break the "teeth" (the protruding plastic that secures the CD when it's inside the casing), you will have NO chance of replacing it. I wrap up all my digipack CDs with plastic wrappers because the of the paper covers - think of all the stain, dust, water etc that can get to the digipack.

Today has been a mad day. I am still in the office at 8.00pm and it's just been a mad rush since I have stepped into the office this morning. I had a good lunch with friend and we were discussing the depressing news about how 2,000 other employees in our industry are going to be retrenched. Looks like all of us have to work really hard just to keep ourselves employed.

It's Boss day tommorrow and three of us has hatched a plan to bring our beloved Boss out for lunch (at some posh Thai restuarant - Purvis Street). Friday is going to be here in a few hours time.